Teacher Spotlight: Dustin Jordan


By Features Team

If you weren’t working at Fairmont what do you think you would be doing?

Pizza delivery guy

If you could morph two animals together to become one animal what two animals would you choose?

A dragon body with wings with a lion’s head 

If you were famous what would your stage name be?

DJ MacDaddy USA  

What is the stupidest way you’ve hurt yourself?

I was 14 years old and my friends and I bought fireworks. I had a firecracker and I was trying to scare my friend in the house so I licked my fingers so it wouldn’t actually catch on fire in my hand, but instead I squeezed it too hard so it blew up in my hand. 

What conspiracy theory do you believe?

None, they are all stupid. 

If you could invent anything what would it be? And why?

A useful cooking tool because I love to cook. 

What is the most embarrassing story from Fairmont or your own personal life?

10-12 years ago, there was a senior meeting so we had extended advisory. I was messing with something in my classroom and I hit my head on a hard piece of metal. I cut my head open and gave myself a concussion. Hippenmeyer told everyone that I pooped my pants during the car ride home. 

If you had to become an inanimate object for a year what would it be?

A rock

What is your best dad joke?

A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.

The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.

The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”

The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.

The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.

The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!

The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really a jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”

If you could change the color of grass what color would you change it to?

Neon orange polka dots