The Flyer

Sam Barton

Sam Barton, Editor-in-Chief

My name is Sam Barton. I’m sure you’ve heard of me. As two-time Editor-in-Chief of The Flyer, I am the uncontested king of Greater Kettering’s High School Journalism community. Other great people of a comparable status as I include: Kim Jong Il of North Korea, Vladimir Putin of Russia, and Jake Shook of People with Crushes on Members of Panic at the Disco.

So yeah, I’m kind of a big deal. People know me.

My staffers, to me, are peasants. They tend to my every need whilst I sit atop my throne of office supplies and copier paper. They also operate small tenant farms, cultivating oats and barley to be sold to wayward travelers. When it behooves me, I make them fight to the death for my entertainment.

As King, I oversee the land, enforcing our strict  dress code of cut off T’s, pastel LL Bean corduroys and sombreros. The sentence for violating this dress code is either computer cleaning or eternal exile (for some reason, everyone chooses exile. Like for real, though, what the heck?). Sometimes when my staffers really annoy me, I throw them into the pit of doom. It’s inhabited by this disgusting, malicious beast who rips out people’s hearts with his bare hands; we also call him Jake. Sometimes we make him edit stories.

How do you like them apples?

Not sure if you’ve picked up on this yet, but I have some sarcastic tendencies. But in all sincerity, I love The Flyer. It has been extremely rewarding, and I can say with certainty that I am a better person because of it.

All content by Sam Barton
Senior Ryan Stacy gives the rock-on gesture just before the ceremony begins. Behind him is Michelle Steinbrugge and at right is Hannah Spitler.

2014 Commencement

May 23, 2014
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Sam Barton